when you are moving through life....God's care is constant.
when you are stuck...God's care is constant. 
when time doesn't matter...God's care is constant. 
when time is crucial...God's care is constant. 
when emotions change your response...God's care is constant. 
when emotions overpower in circumstance...God's care is constant. 
when you see things as precious...God's care is constant.
when you take them for granted...God's care is constant. ​
when you are focused...God's care is constant. 
when you are rebellious...God's care is constant. 
when you are amiable...God's care is constant. 
when you are resistant...God's care is constant. 
when you are content...God's care is constant. 

The movement rocks me back and forth like a wave swaying an abandoned ball in the surf. Movement that would be lost otherwise. The place is empty until its not. The space is quiet until the creators move in and the atmosphere changes...the moment has arrived when we assemble to create, to share, to move together. 

The latter, labeled Social Justice B* by Thaddeus Williams in his book, Confronting Injustice Without Compromising Truth, rewires the brain away from the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, self-control, and instead toward suspicion, rage, self-righteousness and always assuming the worst of other people’s motives. One’s modus operandi becomes a vicious self-fulfilling prophecy that automatically blames “the system”.  This keeps people exhausted, depressed, and riddled with anxiety. It employs catastrophic thinking** that is wreaking havoc in our very bodies. 
 
In an article in The Atlantic titled, The Coddling of the American Mind: In the name of emotional well-being, college students are increasingly demanding protection from words and ideas they don’t like. Here’s why that’s disastrous for education—and mental health, Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt write a lengthy article in query of our current practices to understand the emotional cloud of the day, specifically on college campuses. While I’ve seen, first-hand, these trends on the university campus I worked on for 13 years, I believe it applicable to other areas of societal interaction, in short, where any relationships occur between non-like-minded people. 
 The following are some quotes pulled at salient moments of the article for further comment or application, however the full article is linked below. I do want to note that within this article and suggested by The Atlantic in the postscript are more linked articles studying the reaction to this original article. They are equally fascinating and troubling in this time in our society’s reckoning with the consequences of secularism. 
 
Shame and Honor
 
“…culture devoted to policing speech and punishing speakers is likely to engender patterns of thought that are surprisingly similar to those long identified by cognitive behavioral therapists as causes of depression and anxiety. The new protectiveness may be teaching students to think pathologically.”
 
This quote stood out as I recall experiencing some of these symptoms myself as a deeply feeling person. Even though practicing empathy can be a strength, I have often struggled with taking on the offenses of others to the detriment of logical and helpful thinking and actions. Caught up in the pain of others, I sometimes fail to see that a practice of shame and honor as we punish or reward others for their thoughts and “stances” only leads to a deeply flawed sense of self-righteousness. We can easily leave the realm of “putting ourselves in others’ shoes” or “weeping with those that weep” and find ourselves on the grounds of hopeless and constant, unconstructive judgement of others’ motives and guessing about their biases, and, frankly, a state of perpetual anger; the unhelpful kind, the kind that eats at your spirit. It is a veritable mass of quicksand that can destroy our own sense of purpose to the greater good in the world as we spiral into thinking that nothing will ever change unless I am always on the defensive and fighting. No wonder so many are so exhausted and tired. 
 
The Insolent Veracity of Tribalism
 
“A principle of moral psychology is that “morality binds and blinds.” Part of what we do when we make moral judgments is express allegiance to a team. But that can interfere with our ability to think critically. Acknowledging that the other side’s viewpoint has any merit is risky—your teammates may see you as a traitor.”

Critical thinking is about asking critical questions. These types of questions do not inherently imbue allegiance and yet, we as humans, seem to always be assigning allegiance based on the questions being asked. There need not be a “team” chosen. If we are really interested in the truth of a problem, the root of the problem, and the solving of that problem, we must be courageous enough to ask critical questions and stop vilifying those that ask them. At the same time, we shouldn’t make the mistake of underestimating the pull of mob-mentality. Keeping this in mind for ourselves as well as for others may help assist us to deflect any hostility lobbed in your direction for questions asked. 
 
The cure is that “critical thinking requires grounding one’s beliefs in evidence rather than in emotion or desire…”
 
Exposure Is Not a Dirty Word
 
Emotional reasoning as assuming “that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are: ‘I feel it; therefore, it must be true.’”
 
“If our universities are teaching students that their emotions can be used effectively as weapons—or at least as evidence in administrative proceedings—then they are teaching students to nurture a kind of hypersensitivity that will lead them into countless drawn-out conflicts in college and beyond. Schools may be training students in thinking styles that will damage their careers and friendships, along with their mental health.”
 
There is no good to come of this if we are to endeavor to be a society at all let alone a good society; a non-toxic society. We are undermining the value and necessity of community when we train ourselves to be hypersensitive to our negative feelings. This practice dismisses our human nature to be wrong, to assume and to jump to conclusions and then we have, in effect, burned the bridge we are standing on. What good is this and what good will it do the world to devolve in this way?  The fix is willful exposure to critical thinking, or as queued by Biblical Scripture, ‘iron sharpening iron’. 
 
From Storytelling to Propaganda
 
“People acquire their fears not just from their own past experiences, but from social learning as well. If everyone around you acts as though something is dangerous—elevators, certain neighborhoods, novels depicting racism—then you are at risk of acquiring that fear too.”
 
Fear can be a healthy indicator to flee or an intuitive flag to avoid danger so there needs to be some practice in discernment here. This is a process-driven pursuit and it is intentional. It also requires wisdom which people have in varying supply, although I hold that it can be nurtured, especially in generational relationship with those younger and older than oneself. However, I think we are at a critical juncture in our society where it would behoove us to reflect on the kinds of culture we are making. There is storytelling and then there is propaganda. It takes wisdom and nuance to recognize both. The prescription is to tell stories with the substance of what is good, true and beautiful even when ugly details are necessary. We ought not re-enforce stereotypes and propaganda that would perpetuate ruts of thinking and drive us further apart. The truth is there are neighborhoods that are unsafe but there are also decent people living in those neighborhoods if we are willing to sit with their stories, their needs and their redemptive potential as we remind ourselves that we all fall short of God’s glory. 
 
Silence is Violence or Speech is Violence, which is it? 
 
“When speech comes to be seen as a form of violence, vindictive protectiveness can justify a hostile, and perhaps even violent, response.”
 
“… the increased focus on microaggressions coupled with the endorsement of emotional reasoning is a formula for a constant state of outrage, even toward well-meaning speakers trying to engage in genuine discussion.”
 
I was encouraged one time to cull out the word ‘expose’ (as in, ‘it is an enriching pursuit to expose children to the arts.’) from an MC speech before a performance due to its negative and triggering connotations. The word very well might illicit a negative or triggering response to someone who has suffered trauma, however, this uncovering of wounds is the very way we, as humans, know there is healing to be pursued. However, exposure is not always a bad thing. If not for ‘exposure’, we would never taste the sweetness of raisins. Regardless, words can hurt, yet justifying responsive violence to speech and efforts to curtail any such pain from words is both inane and, again, undermines free thought. You cannot do justice by committing injustice. The following quote says it all: 
 
“If campus culture conveys the idea that visitors must be pure, with résumés that never offend generally left-leaning campus sensibilities, then higher education will have taken a further step toward intellectual homogeneity and the creation of an environment in which students rarely encounter diverse viewpoints. And universities will have reinforced the belief that it’s okay to filter out the positive. If students graduate believing that they can learn nothing from people they dislike or from those with whom they disagree, we will have done them a great intellectual disservice.”
 
Tethered to the Wind
 
“One of the great truths taught by Buddhism (and Stoicism, Hinduism, and many other traditions) is that you can never achieve happiness by making the world conform to your desires. But you can master your desires and habits of thought. This, of course, is the goal of cognitive behavioral therapy.”
 
This is also the reasoning behind the Christian teaching to “take every thought captive” and make it subject to God’s truth. God sets the objective standard for measuring the thoughts and feelings that will or will not overwhelm your life. For the Christian, God sets those boundaries based on what our Creator knows of His creation - us. He also sets the bar in a place higher than happiness because happiness should never be the goal. Contentedness, rather, frees humans from their own thoughts and feelings tossing them psychologically and emotionally to and fro, as being tethered to the wind. We are much more stable and unshakeable when we know how to master thoughts and emotions and make them yield to reality. 
 
Take Back Ground Lost in our Bodies
 
“The presumption that students need to be protected rather than challenged in a classroom is at once infantilizing and anti-intellectual.”

• American Association of University Professors’ report on trigger warnings

 
“It would also tone down the perpetual state of outrage that seems to engulf some colleges these days, allowing students’ minds to open more widely to new ideas and new people.”
 
The cure for this is, as Lukianoff & Haidt draw together, the willful practice of critical thinking, and “critical thinking requires grounding one’s beliefs in evidence rather than in emotion or desire…” In addition to developing critical thinking skills, Lukianoff and Haidt draw the line to cognitive behavioral therapy. This has a Biblical precedent so we can take back ground lost in our bodies; ground lost to anxiety, depression, rage, and resentment and by taking “every thought captive” and making it subject to God’s truth. We are holistic beings with a body and a soul, so shouldn’t we approach our lives holistically as well by resisting the ignoring of our bodies when becoming burdened with such symptoms? 
 
I want to encourage everyone to pay attention to adverse symptoms in the body. It is crucial that we live fully as the embodied persons that we were meant to be; to be fully connected between the body, mind and spirit in a way that journeys toward thriving rather than devolving into alienated communities of one. 
 
I also want to encourage parents to consider these points and teach your children critical thinking skills. Sign them up for debate, teach them to be brave, carve out time for lengthy conversations, initiate ‘no question too stupid’ night, and nurture them into people that seek truth above personal comfort. You are not alone and the effort is worth it. 

**THE CODDLING OF THE AMERICAN MIND By Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/09/the-coddling-of-the-american-mind/399356/?fbclid=IwAR0_4kzItvAU4suQMoXjRSTU38f1QURHPNHJyJbP06-ihjZwHBzXorjdjD

Not in the too distant past, I was listening to lecture by a fellow Christian about the “way things were” in her explorations of dance and faith. While all those listening seemed to come away with poignant moments of affirmation and tools to keep going in their dance education, some of her theological claims didn’t sit well with me and I couldn’t shake it. In the aftermath of further processing those claims, I jotted down some thoughts on what I thought was important to remember when ideas are presented, and questions arise. It’s just a quick reference that I hope to keep developing. 
 

1. Develop Discernment - Your relationship with God is not curated through others but it is shaped by the Word of God. Christianity claims that God is a personal God, so approach His Word and approach HIM. Developing discernment through Scripture and knowledge of the character of God is key. 
2. Don’t ignore your questions/confusion - look it up, research, study, read broadly, and converse with other Christians. That might mean confronting assumptions you hold, or it might mean you need to know the truth and that what you heard was incorrect. 
3. Look It Up – was a scripture sited? Look it up and read more around that “proof-text” for its context and more clues to what the author had in mind. The author’s intentions are important; the Divine Author and the human author, in historical and cultural context, that relayed those inspired words from God. 
4. “Scientists are finding…” – remember that science is subject to interpretation/ fact vs. interpretation.  Also, keep in mind that when someone claims that “scientists agree”, it’s not likely. Reading arguments or interpretations from all sides of an issue are important as well as asking which scientists’ findings are being sited and are they relevant and viable. 
5. Experiential Truth - Don’t get hooked into a wonderful experience - something you emotionally needed does not automatically mean all that Christian said is true and right.  Popular culture today will tell you that your experiences and emotions are king when it comes to how you “know” anything. If that were true, that would mean when a child expresses feeling stupid, she really is, instead of a clearer interpretation of embarrassment or anxiety. In a spiritual context, there are reported trance-like experiences in other spiritual practices, not just Christian services.  If your “experience” doesn’t line up with the picture of spiritual life in scripture, you may want to investigate further. Your feelings of “rightness” are not necessarily an indication of God’s approval or touch in your circumstance. 
6. Accountability - Find people who will challenge your ideas and sharpen you. Not people who disagree with you for the sake of disagreement, unnecessarily. Life in constant conflict is not helpful or life-giving. But those people that are listening carefully enough to challenge you in the areas where your understanding is thin, when you need more research on facts/details or that will be courageous enough to challenge your assumptions are a vital part of life as a body of believers. It is arrogance to go it alone and unbiblical to only find people who will tell you what “your itching ears want to hear”. If you are resistant to accountability with other strong disciples, there may be a deeper sin issue that needs attention.

 
God is not afraid of questions and doubts, but we need more theology, not less, when it comes to fleshing those questions out.  These issues have eternal implications. We can’t afford to be lazy about counting the cost of true discipleship in Christ and we ought not be prideful about our need to live an examined life lest we find ourselves in serious danger of a life wasted. 

This post was originally intended as our Christmas Card message at the end of 2020. I intentionally chose a neutral design because I figured I wouldn’t really get them mailed until January 2021, however, they didn’t arrive in our friends and families mailboxes until August of 2021. It’s hard to say why I was so delinquent in sending them. I think part of the problem was a growing temptation to be a hermit crab in these tumultuous and grievous times. It’s difficult to muster the courage to live the words I wrote at the end of 2020 and yet, here they are all the same. It seems that the world is just as changed as before. Although there was this grasp for the hope of 2021, it has seemed to be more of the same. I guess it all depends on what you are putting your hope in. If I put my hope is feeling different or people being nicer or circumstances looking up, 2021 has more than disappointed. However, if I choose to put my hope in something like the unchanging nature of a Holy God, it is a far more stable reality than any I pretend isn’t as bad as it looks. This is an honest place as well as a safe place. 
 
There has been such anticipation in concluding this last year, as if all the world’s troubles would just disappear on Jan. 1st. While none of us were probably quite that naïve, I know there seemed to be a common thread of hope that 2021 would be vastly different, and yet…..

As humans, we have been tested and tempted; found failing and stirred to rise. The trouble in the world is ultimately a trouble with the human heart. At its’s very root, the human condition has some pretty low lows, but our hope for the future isn’t in humankind although it is, at its foundation, connected to humankind. We need each other to not give up so that we can, as many as possible, continue walking toward the Hope of the world. My family and I are convinced it is only found in Christ Jesus and any reason to hope really has no verification except through the fact that He was killed and rose from the dead, proving Him to be the Christ. You may not agree but in solidarity with keeping hope alive, we want you to know that Truth will guide us, and Love will be our hallmark. We are committed to traveling with you, together. May you find what really matters in life are the things that make it worth living. May you reach out to those in destitution with no hope to help them feel the reality of hope. And may you experience the evidence of a God that Loves through the ability to see Him at work in changing people – real change, lifting us from the low of lows to a place of restoration that can’t be denied. May we ever strive to see the Truth that we are all made in the Image of God who will bring Justice to the world beyond our efforts. May you find reservoirs of Love to call others into His Light and courage to respond with action to those in deep need, for this is Right, Just and Good. ​

​There is a biblical precedent for laying stones as a memorial to the Lord in order to remember the good things He has done for us. There are at least three cases of biblical characters laying memorial stones, and these become significant locations throughout biblical history. Bethel is where Jacob memorialized his vision. Gilgal is where Joshua commemorated the Israelites’ miraculous entrance into the Promised Land. Samuel erects an Ebenezer stone after God thwarts the Philistine’s attack.

In all the depravity that humankind is capable of inflicting on one another, the gospel of Jesus calls victims to safe haven and oppressors to repentance under the reality that we are all sinners in need of salvation from a Holy God and that true healing only comes from Him. 
​
As Tulsans remember the horrors of the 1921 Tulsa Race Massacre this weekend, this is a digital memorial stone, if you will, of what Christ has done enduring his brutal execution on the Cross and defiant resurrection from the grave. This is not a dismissal of real victims that deserve justice nor real pain that requires real healing, but the real power for healing comes from Christ’s work on the Cross and it’s finality.  The evidence is transformed lives across dividing walls of hostility (Ephesians 2) that we should endeavor to live worthy of that reconciliation offered by Christ alone. 
​
Esau McCaulley puts it in his book, Reading While Black:
 
“God’s vision for his people is not for the elimination of ethnicity to form a colorblind uniformity of sanctified blandness. Instead God sees the creation of a community of different cultures united by faith in his Son as a manifestation of the expansive nature of his grace. This expansiveness is unfulfilled unless the differences are seen and celebrated, not as ends unto themselves, but as particular manifestations of the power of the Spirit to bring forth the same holiness among different peoples and cultures for the glory of God.”

For more information on the events of 1921 attack on residents in the Greenwood District in Tulsa, OK, explore the New York Times article delineating the historical records of the weekend 100 years ago. We want to be a city in healing; on the road toward being the "Magic City" again.
​

photos by Nathan Harmon

As a Christian, allowing disappointing circumstances to teach us and shape us is part of the calling to the Way of Jesus, especially ones that test your resolve or affect your generally positive outlook. It’s also natural to be cautious not to fall into an erroneous belief about God as a result. This is a good thing, however, incomplete, if left there. What was the underlying assumption triggered by an unexpected feeling or circumstance that left you unsettled?  How do we think of a job loss when we felt so certain the move was the right one? How do we cope with the loss of an adoption plan when a precious gift of natural childbearing is on the way?  Are these moments of disconnect ‘just the way it is sometimes’ or could we see them as opportunities for growth and discipleship?  
 
Experiencing hardships or disappointment in life can be difficult. Even worse, those who feel deeply can be consumed by disappointment. And those who approach life trying to turn everything into a positive may find let downs an irritating distraction to be dismissed. It may be a natural response to muster consolation by thinking of more horrific tragedies, circumstances or losses in other parts of the world or even to someone in less fortunate circumstances.  Sometimes situations have a real need to usher us into a period of mourning, grief or lament, but, for now, I’m speaking of more general and less devastating happenings. 
 
Circumstances may raise questions we are unfamiliar with or reveal an area of Christian discipleship we don’t know much about.  Like the parable of the man who builds his house on sand, this is something sand-like and it would be unwise to leave it tottering as such. Is there something more stable? What is the Biblical principle underneath the question to explore? Is this an indication of the all-illusive mystery of God or a moment for deeper understanding?  

RECALIBRATION
 
If following Christ is all the Bible claims it is, I should be willing to test it, study it and understand it deeply and rightly in ever-increasing ways. This is the promise of a “real relationship” with a God that wants relationship with us (that still blows my mind right there). 
 
The name Jacob means “to wrestle with God”. It’s the very essence of what it means to have a personal relationship with God.  These surfacing questions don’t always bring us to an arrival point, but sometimes they do. Something more solid; rock-like. There are things we can know within scriptural text and in the way that God reveals Himself to us. Yes, there is the Beautiful Mystery of God but that shouldn’t be conflated with ambiguity. Ambiguity may eventually mature into an outright lie about God. We seem to give up rather easily these days. A disciple of Christ should be willing to know, feel, and move through the process of a substantive relationship with God.
 
I do believe there are things we won’t fully understand about the Almighty, Sovereign God but are we being too quick to dismiss the revealed question as unknowable? Have we bought into the lie that knowledge is illusive, in and of itself, and nothing can be truly known?  “What is truth?”, Pontius Pilot asked Jesus on trial.  A moment later, turning and walking away, Pilot began addressing the Jewish crowd once more (John 18:33-40). Pilot asked, not because he wanted an answer, but because he had already convinced himself there was none, let alone did he expect one. 
 
The tragic irony in this historical scene is that Pontius Pilot asked that question of the God-Man that claimed to be Truth itself. He was in the presence of Truth and did not wait for an answer. Let that be a warning to us.
 
Don’t let these moments pass by just waiting to see how the day-to-day feels. Your feelings may not catch up with your sense of where God is leading you. This may be an opportunity to learn more about how God does interact with His creation and specifically with you.  If ignored, you may soon find yourself moving on and not thinking more of it. 
 
What is Truth if it doesn’t affect the life lived? Why would we acknowledge the questions rising only to brush them aside when Truth is available and waiting?  Read the Bible, discuss questions with others who are also invested as Disciples of Christ, unearth any erroneous baggage, read commentary on scripture passages or find topical addresses. 
 
Lastly, don’t let questions lie to you either.  Those unexamined questions can lead to doubts and although doubt is not sinful, unattended doubts can become willful unbelief because you allowed assumptions to become the norm. Don't let the questions formulate lies about the God you could have known deeper and sat with longer. 
​

The anniversary of the death of my friend, Amy McIntosh, is tomorrow. The year she died, she danced her way into eternity on Good Friday. I heard it was a desire of hers in her last days to make her eternal crossover on that Friday. I'm not surprised she had the idea, made a plan and accomplished it. She was a determined and very creative artist who stayed busy with numerous ideas and projects always rolling. And it seems that God saw fit to grant her her wish to exit on Good Friday. 

A group of us danced Amy's work, Let Justice Roll Down, many times and in many venues. She set it on her company, Living Water Dance Company, and on her students at Oral Roberts University. It was challenging to dance but rich to consider all the thoughts and reflections she poured into the work. She was a deep thinker. 

I recently ran across a print out of the program entry for this piece for the 2012 Exchange Choreography Festival, the festival I've produce (with much help from many, many people in Tulsa) for the past 11 years. It was one of many performances of this work. I was always inspired at the way Amy worked. She never apologized for presenting a section of piece she knew would grow beyond that section, nor did she apologize for continuing to develop a work even after it had been on stage already. 

It warmed my heart to find this print out on today of all days, Good Friday, and in the times we are living. I wanted to reprint her program notes below. John M. Perkins book is salient and a must-read. May we continue to reflect on matters of justice and continue to stay the course, not grow lazy or weary, to do good to all people and to endeavor to convince others of our love for them with our actions. 

2012 Exchange Choreography Festival Reverb Program Notes ~ 
Let Justice Roll Down grew out of McIntosh's struggle with oppression, injustice, and misplaced power within our communities, along with a pivotal book written by John M. Perkins.  After having lived in Jackson, MS for five years, McIntosh moved back to Tulsa in 2006, and soon after, was given a copy of Perkins' book, "Let Justice Roll Down".  Perkins, a native of Mississippi, now 81 (he's more wise and worn now), writes of his journey out of racial injustice into renewal, as he discovers his role in pioneering a new way of living in community. Perkins has devoted his life to developing communities where reconciliation and transformation thrive, and where the walls of power are broken down. McIntosh's work explores power as it seeks to devastate, devour, and deteriorate the very fabric of humanity.  

"The road is lonesome and to succeed one must be like a wolf: eat or be eaten, for one can only succeed at the cost or the failure of others."  
​- Jacob Holdt

"I am ashamed because fear for my own well-being overrides my desire for change, and ashamed as well for the fact that it is attitudes like mine that keep the oppressed, oppressed." 
- Letters from John ​

I've never formally observed lent for no other reason than that I never went to a church that led its congregants through the season. This year, however, I have run across a beautiful lenten devotional posted online from Biola University's Center for Christianity Culture and the Arts. There is such a treasure trove of text, art and reflection that I thought I'd post some of my favorites here.  May we, as followers of Christ, find more substance to being salt and light in the world. 

​http://ccca.biola.edu/lent/#